Saturday, December 12, 2009

Change is good...right?

I am not so certain, at least not when all the change happens at one time. Such are the circumstances in our home right now. Without going into too much detail...we are looking for a new house in a neighboring city, and a new church. I am also starting school in January. It is a lot for me to deal with and all at one time.

Alone, these seem like nominal details but compound that with the facts and you get sadness, fear of the unknown and an overwhelming feeling of urgency to get things taken care of and restore some sense of normalcy. You see, this has been our home for 15 years now. Our babies grew up in this house. There are teeth marks on the window sill where our second daughter would stand to watch the squirrels. Teeth marks that I refuse to paint over. There are a lot of memories but those teeth marks we will leave for the new owners to sand down and paint over. All the other memories we are taking with us. The church we currently attend has been our home church for 22 years. Leaving there feels like leaving family. Top that off with the fact that I have been a stay at home mom for 11 years now and will be in classes Mondays through Thursday evenings. As I mentioned before, these are huge changes when you put each one with its own circumstances and add to that the fact that all of this is happening right now - all at the same time.

I am finding myself filled with different emotions. I feel fear of the unknown, sadness at the possibility of leaving my home and oddly, how should I put it, out of place in my home church of 22 years. I feel like I do not really belong anywhere right now and awkward about being a student again instead of the teacher. Strange isn't it?

The one good thing is that God already knows where He will take us. Because of this my fears are unnecessary and fleeting. I know He has a plan for us and I pray that He will help us to see it.

For those who stuck around to the end of my rambling, "Thank You for Listening".


1 comment:

Lona said...

No. Change is not *always* good. Maybe this change will be good for you; maybe not. Too soon to tell. But God is faithful, even in the midst of change.

Blessings to you...

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